The Big Tits Zombie 3D

Second up at The Barbican was The Big Tits Zombie 3D and what a steaming pile of shite it was.

Now you could say "what do you expect from a film called The Big Tits Zombie 3D" and you'd be right, but even so, this plumbed new depths of cinematic incompetence. Not only was the 3D intermittent, meaning you had to fiddle about with your stupid 3D glasses every 5 minutes, but when you did don the hallowed specs the 3D didn't even work - it simply revealed a murky triple-imaged version of the same drivel you'd just been watching.

I accept that Nakano, whose previous 10 films have been straight to video pinkies, was probably working with less than a shoe string budget here, but there's still no excuse for actors who would struggle to act their way out of a shampoo advert delivering turgid dialogue on sets lit less atmospherically than your average supermarket aisle. Frankly I've seen in-game cut scenes with more going for them than this movie.

巨乳ドラゴン
Dir. Takao Nakano, 2010